If you are anything like me, you love King of the Hill. And while the story each week centers around the escapades of the Hill family, the real treasure on this show is Jeff Boomhauer. The former electrician (or is he a Texas Ranger?) has some of the best hot takes in TV history, even if you can’t understand a word of it. Keep reading as Nerds and Scoundrels runs down the 10 best Boomhauer quotes of all time.
The Top 10 Best Boomhauer Quotes
The best part of Boomhauer quotes, other than the deep knowledge bombs he drops, is his trademark speech pattern. Fast and mumbly, Boomhauer typically still lands some of the best lines each show.
10. Boomhauer on Love
Dang ol‘ love, man.
9. Boomhauer Fears Y2K
I tell you what man, that Y2K man. That ol‘ mainframe gonna come crashin’ down on that ol‘ grid, man.
8. Boomhauer Explains Picking Up Women to Bobby
Maybe why don’t I show you something size “Boom?”
7. Boomhauer Goes Snipe Hunting
Yeah man I tell ya what…Did one of them snipe hunts last night man with them sticks and bags and Whack! Whack! man, go Woooo-loo-loo! … Talk about big mistake y’all… It’s right there in that cooler.
6. Boomhauer Talks Normal
For God’s sake, Hank, act like an adult, and keep it down, guys, will you? I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros, and I’ve been on the same dang page for twenty minutes.
5. Dang Ol’ Megalomart
4. Boomhauer on Seinfeld
I tell you what, man, you see the part where dang ol‘ George come in there and he’s talkin’ ’bout tasting his own burp and Kramer comes slllliiiidin‘ in there, he always does that. Them New York boys, I tell you what…just a show about nothin’.
3. Don’t Smoke
This is your lungs on air. This is your lungs on smoke. See the difference, man? It’s going to stunt your growth all over, you’ll end up lyin’ in that dang ol‘ hospital bed like Morton Downey, Jr., Robert Downey, Jr. even worse, man, yo. Talk about oral gratification all that dang it, is going to give you a low sperm count, man, give ear hair, yo. It just ain’t… ain’t no good.
2. Boomhauer on the Internet
Yeah man, I tell ya what, man, that dang ol’ internet, man, you just go in on there and point and click, talk about w-w-dot-w-com, mean you got the naked chicks on there, man, just go click, click, click, click, click, it’s real easy, man.
1. The Meaning of Life
Man I tell you what Hank bout there-that dang ol meaning o’life, man. It’s like this man. You’ like a butterfly flappin ‘is wings deep down in that forest man an’ it gonna cause a tree fall like five thousand miles away man. If-an ain’t no body see it nobody don-done-e’en know it happen you know ibda baby born into this world int’know neck god dang friends got no nothin but da go come into find out about em ol evil man. Man see like, you don even know man. When-dyagon it’d like you born into this world man and you got — it’s like this: dust in the wind man, or like a dang ol’ candle in the wind man. You gon — it don matter man it’s not the old oldies all th’ time man. You know what I think man? It’d like the the dang ol – I think therefore you are man.
Nerds and Scoundrels
And those are our picks for the 10 best Boomhauer Quotes of all time! Agree? Disagree? Leave us a comment below if we left anything out. And be sure to check out the rest of our King of the Hill coverage at Nerds and Scoundrels!